It’s been almost 3 weeks since my last post. I would love to have a great “comeback” explanation like I met a unicorn, or I was asked to be part of a secret CIA mission, or I magically ended up on a fabulous Talk Show, and now I can reveal all of the behind the scenes information. The truth… I was stuck.
There was nothing wrong, I was just literally stuck in this weird place. Have you ever found yourself just not sure how to take the next step? I find sometimes I become paralyzed with a fear of uncertainty. It’s this point in your life when you just doubt where you are, who you are, why you are here, and if the next word or action you take is the right one.
It can be daunting to be stuck, but you know what is even more daunting… being too comfortable or complacent to become unstuck. There is a false safety net in not having to make a decision or own your path. It becomes comfortable to just chill for a moment.
I compare this feeling of “stuckness” to this one time I was hanging out at a Holiday Inn. We were at a baseball tournament for my youngest brother (yes, the Boston Red Sox player), and I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I knew I did not want to watch anymore tiny boys playing baseball. I went down to the hotel’s lazy river, jumped in an inner tube and just rode around in circles for hours. At one point, I was so deep into the inner tube you could only see a small tuft of my ponytail. I was so comfortable, that I legitimately couldn’t quite figure out how to get out of the lazy river. Naturally, I deployed the help of a very handsome lifeguard, but that’s a story for a different day.
Ultimately, I was never stuck, I was just so comfortable not making a decision, that I just decided to stay there. In the non-lazy river world, this is asking for resentment, bitterness, and disengagement to build as you allow yourself to fall deeper into the deceiving “pit of comfort.” The “comfort”disguises itself as just taking a break or relaxing, and yes it is completely ok and encouraged to take a break. But… pay attention to what is a break and what is you not wanting to move forward because you are just comfortable doing nothing.
Ownership of your life, your decisions, your path… is hard! Let me repeat that, ownership is hard! Owning your journey is hard, but life is hard. I read an amazing book called “Girl, Wash your Face” by my new favorite social media guru Rachel Hollis. She said something so simple yet powerful, that I must share it with each of you,
“I had to teach myself better ways to handle stress and painful seasons. I had to teach myself better habits…These habits make me strong enough to handle the hard stuff, meaning I don’t reach for the easy way out.”
To handle life you have to push yourself into a habit, a routine, a way of not just taking the easy way out. You will miss out on living life and continue to coast along in the lazy river. That sounds inviting some days, I’m sure, but when you find yourself all alone floating in an inner tube and wondering what happened to your life…. it’s not so appealing. So my challenge, is to keep pushing towards being unstuck, towards being uncomfortable. This blog is my way of living my life and sharing that with each of you. It’ s my way of being totally uncomfortable with vulnerably saying “I am stuck,” and “I don’t have all the answers.” But, I am willing to open myself up to each of you, so we can be uncomfortable together. We can continue to move out of the lazy river and ride the waves of this hard and uncomfortable life together. I don’t know about you, but that type of life sounds like a whole lot more of a fun adventure, that I am more than willing to take.
