Have you ever literally given your all only for it to still not be enough? Did you sacrifice your money, your sleep, your sanity only to find yourself coming up short to a goal you thought was able to be achieved. Real talk, I am there… right now, in this time in my life, I am in this place, where I literally cannot move beyond where I am. I gave of myself to build up my career, and I made a necessary transition that inadvertently moved me back by 3 years. I spent those 3 years saying yes to everything, traveling Sunday-Saturday, sleeping maybe 1-2 hours at night, basically burning myself out to get to this huge moment in my career, and it was all wiped away by one move that would ironically save my sanity.
So what do you do when you realize what you thought you were working towards, is no longer achievable or even worse, was never a goal that was supposed to part of your purpose? For me, I broke down. Legitimately, full fledged, bawling my eyes out, rage-induced, completely just done, break down. After I picked myself up from one of what would be a few breakdowns, I fought back against the frustration. Just because the goal isn’t yours to achieve, it does not mean you are not valued and there is not a better opportunity that is aligned with God’s actual purpose for your life.
God has an interesting way of moving things outside of our reach that are not going to bring us to His purpose. During this moment, quite honestly, I have yelled at God. I mean seriously my conversations have gone something like this, “God, really, what was the point in all of those years of trusting you, and letting your light shine if I was going to end up in this place?” There was a “come to Jesus” moment that occurred for me, when God told me “Girl, get it together, and remember my plan is so much greater than your plan.”
You may be in that place in your personal life. Maybe you are going through a divorce, the loss of a child, or internal chaos in your family life. You may see no light period not at the end of the tunnel, not within the tunnel, not around the tunnel… no light. But my dear friend, just because you don’t see the light, does not mean it’s not there waiting for you. Light does not have to be realized when you move past a season. That light can be realized within your season of pain in the seemingly small moments. Those small God moments can slowly bring you back to purpose.
As you move through this season, I want you to wake up and live each day a little different. Instead of waking up surrounded by the darkness, choose to wake up and give yourself some light. Start your morning with an uplifting quote, a Bible verse, a song of joy, or even just the statement “Today, I’ve got this. Today, I will smile, laugh and breathe, even if I don’t want to, I will do it so I can give myself light.” Throughout your day, as you feel the darkness try and creep in go back to exactly what you started your day with and bring yourself to light. You may not be able to control this season of your life, but you can control how you respond to this season.
