Did you know it is absolutely ok to be proud of yourself? Too often, we focus on all the things that are happening in our lives that aren't working the way we expected, that we forget to celebrate the victories.
I was working with a client today, and they are going through A LOT of changes. During our conversation, we stepped back for a minute, and I told her, "I know things have been crazy, but look how far we have come and how much we have accomplished!" She stopped and said, "You know what you're right. We have really done some amazing work."
If you don't take the chance to actually celebrate your victories nobody else will. I am the WORST at celebrating my personal victories. I am too focused on beating myself up for my mistakes.
Lately, I found myself in a state of fluctuating struggle in my personal life. Being single in your 30s is so awkward! I find myself jumping between one-time affairs (previously known as one night stands, I thought this was classier) and potential relationships that end after 4 weeks. I also find myself going out more often than I should because I have a crippling fear of being at my house alone.
I've been beating myself up for waking up a little hungover, or with another totally unsuitable male in my bed, and I will spend a week in this state of frustration. I completely ignore the victories, like the fact that I am no longer staying with a man because he gives me compliments, but I'm cutting them out of my life because they don't show me value. I'm graduating from making unwise drinking choices by actually giving myself a stop instead of just grabbing a bottle of wine because I can.
Let's not forget that I just completed the manuscript for my first book, I have been asked to key note and host two major speaking events in one month, and professionally I am responsible for almost $1M in sales for my company.
Why is it so hard for me to focus on the victories? Because my personal sense of self-worth is my own worst enemy. I had to really dig deep into the root cause of this dangerous game of just focusing on my missteps. I am recovering from what I call the "Chronic State of Perfection."
For me, it stems from my perpetual need to seem like I am not falling apart, which I find myself steadily releasing especially in speaking engagements. People relate to imperfection, honesty, and authenticity. For so long, I was afraid of people seeing that side of me because it sucks, it hurts, and it's messy, but in hiding that from people I was also hiding it from myself. I was living out an unrealistic and unattainable expectation for my life, that I was constantly telling myself I wasn't enough because I messed up. No matter how many great movements forward I have made in my life, that one moment of failure felt like I was starting all over again.
Stop doing this to yourself! You deserve to be proud of your movement forward. Even if you feel like you're stumbling along, you are still moving forward because you are choosing not to settle. I am learning to celebrate my victories more than dwelling on my mistakes. Owning your mistakes and dwelling are two very different things. You can own them and move forward, but if you stay stuck in the past mistakes, you will never move forward to your purposeful future.
Be proud of you! My challenge to you, for every mistake you keep dwelling on give yourself three victories to counteract it, and celebrate those victories. You must not let yourself live in the shadows of missteps. You are more valuable than that, and you deserve to be proud of yourself. Today and every day, congratulate yourself for moving forward!
