Did you know you don’t have to hold on to the mess and chaos in your life that keeps holding you back? We all have something or someone that calls to us and tells us, “don’t let me go, keep holding onto this piece of your life or you’ll lose part of yourself.” We believe that lie and allow ourselves to hold onto friends, painful pasts, negative self-talk, inappropriate relationships, dangerous habits, or even worse we pretend like there is nothing we are holding onto at all and keep pushing it into the dark. But what happens when all of that mess begins to threaten our own ability to accept and live out God’s purpose and blessings in our lives?
You have a choice. You may not think you do, but trust me when I say YOU beloved have a choice to release your mess. I have A LOT OF MESS in my life that I had to release and am still releasing. Real talk… I’ve had issues with alcohol, with eating, with poor body image, with inappropriate and dangerous relationships, with negative self-talk, with inviting “friends” into my life only to be hurt by people who never deserved part of me. I’ve hurt myself in the most intimate and detrimental ways because I refused to release my mess. I held on too tight to things and people who I thought defined me, defined my life, and defined who I was supposed to be.
Releasing my mess is something that is still occurring even now, and dare I say we will always be releasing parts of our mess. We aren’t perfect, but we are God’s children and He gives us the grace, mercy, love and understanding to forgive us and unconditionally take us in amidst our mess. So I know what you’re asking, it’s great to say I need to release my mess, but how do you actually release your mess??
Releasing your mess is a personal journey, and I can only share what I know continues to help me be a better version of myself:
- Tip 1– Own your mess. You have to own the mess and chaos in your life that is not healthy by speaking it. The more you push it away, the more you pretend it doesn’t exist, or the more you tell yourself “well this is part of my life, this is how it always will be,” the more you give power to the mess and you take away power from the release.
- Tip 2- Be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Releasing your mess does not mean things will get easier, just the opposite. We like being comfortable, and sometimes that comfort is disguised in inappropriate conversations that give us the healing we think we need, or indulging a little too much so we can numb what’s really going on in our mind and heart. The real work comes in releasing those guises and allowing ourselves to feel real life. To know that we aren’t stuck in this chaos just because it makes us feel comfortable. There is healing, there is freedom, and there is a place of peace when we let go of the chaos that is destroying our lives.
- Tip 3- Build your solace. As you release your mess, you will also need to provide yourself with true solace. Solace comes from being honest about what we truly need instead of the mess. Is it a healthier way to talk to ourselves? Is it another means of release like music, poetry, books, your network of trusted friends, adult coloring books (don’t knock them until you try them!), devotionals, church groups, working out, sharing your talents with non-profit organizations, prayer? Or, is it just the simplicity of not filling the void but instead allowing ourselves to sit still and be alone in that quiet place with the beautiful person that is ourselves. Truly the art and beauty of solace is that we must commit to building it into the space that once held chaos. Don’t over-complicate the solace, and don’t think solace just comes. You have to work at building that place of peace, just as hard as you worked at bringing the chaos and mess into your life.
We have a purpose in this life that only we can live. Don’t miss out on that purpose because you were too afraid to release your mess.
