Earlier this year a publishing company contacted me, and asked me if I would be interested in writing a book. After months of negotiations with a phenomenal lawyer, we signed a contract that will have my first book coming out before Thanksgiving. Exciting, right?!

When you write a book you assume that it’ll be difficult, but that you’ll be excited as you go through it because you’re bringing your story to the world. The thing that you forget is if you’re writing a book about your life, vulnerability comes in to play in a powerful way. While the story is mine, I have a lead editor whose insights challenge me to think beyond the surface and really dig deeper into the feelings that will connect others not only to my story but to their own stories.

I’ve been reliving the story of my PTSD; re-evaluating the steps I took in my life to get to where I am. On top of reliving my past, my present is immersed with new faces, new people, and new experiences. Experiences that require me to think through the decisions and choices I am making, why I’m making them, where they will lead me. The book is teaching me to be purposeful and discerning in this phase of my life, but the biggest thing it’s teaching me is every single chapter is messy. My life is messy, your life is messy, and it’s supposed to be.

I’m embracing the mess and the chaos. I used to live my life driving towards a concrete answer to everything, especially the parts of my life that weren’t perfectly wrapped up in an explainable bow. The older I become, and the more immersed I become in sharing part of my story with the world through The Book, the more I can let go. It sounds cliche, but I don’t have the answers, and I don’t want to have the answers. This year especially has taught me that sometimes you can get in your own way by trying to have an answer for everything.

Our experiences are meant to be shared, and the lessons from those experiences provide dynamic wisdom and insatiable insights not static answers. I don’t think any of us really need the answers to life’s lessons, we really just need to live them, experience them, and support each other along this crazy, chaotic journey we call life.

Tags : purpose