Let’s be honest, I really love wine, so truly if I am awake and breathing, I feel like I need a glass of wine. Here is the thing though, I used to fall in to the trap of self-medicating. It’s been a bad day, break out the wine! It’s been a day full of not feeling valued, where’s the bottle? It’s been a day biting my tongue so I don’t tell people how I really feel, 2 glasses please. Or my all time favorite, there were screaming or crying children involved in my day (and no I am not a mom), I need multiple bottles of wine ASAP! I found myself drinking wine to help with mitigating the day, but not drinking wine to enjoy it. So… I changed the meaning behind the statement “I need a glass of wine.”

You all know this has been an interesting few months for me, and quite honestly it’s been interesting partially because I’ve allowed it to be. I find myself sometimes pushing myself into this hole where I need something (wine) or someone (dashing knight on a beautiful stallion… no that’s just in my dreams) to pull me out or help me solve my problem. A perfect example… I was promoted to a new position, and in my last week at work, while everyone had talked about throwing a big going away celebration, nobody had actually organized anything. I found myself going down this hole of saying, “why is it that when everyone else needs something I am the first to organize it, but the only legit time that someone should organize something for me, no one steps up.” Did you feel the “the hell you didn’t” coming out of that statement?! I sure did loud and clear, and it almost hurt my face reading it!

So, what do you do when you find yourself into this bitterness hole? You ask yourself this question, “will staying in this place solve my original problem?” If the answer is not “no,” then I encourage you to ask yourself the same question 10 minutes later once you have calmed yourself down. We do not have to depend on other people or other things to bring us fulfillment or joy. The more we allow others or things to fill our gaps, the more power we give to people or things that don’t deserve that power. I spent way too long allowing ex boyfriends and self-medication to temporarily fill the hole I thrust myself into, but…. you know what was happening? My hole was getting deeper and deeper, and I was no longer thinking about getting out of the hole, but digging myself deeper into said hole.

Give yourself the power, strength and ability to get out of your own hole, by asking yourself “will this help solve my problem.” While you may not have an immediate solution resulting from your answer to that question, you will have an opportunity to take ownership of finding a solution instead of depending on someone else or something else to be the solution for you.

So how does this relate back the statement, “I need a glass of wine?” Instead of using your situation or frustration to be the reason for you to have a glass of wine or to self-medicate, instead your glass of wine should be a celebration of life. You should never “need” something to bring you fulfillment, but you can have something that represents your ability to own your life and own your journey. You can have a glass of wine just because you want a delicious Cabernet Sauvignon to share with your even more delicious pizza, or because it’s a beautiful warm, spring day (it’s coming soon I promise!) and you want a crisp Pinot Grigio to compliment the day.

My challenge to you get out of your hole of bitterness, and open yourself up to owning an opportunity for celebration.

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