How Are You Doing?
Oh hi and welcome! For those of you who are new to Fearlessly Made You, welcome to the Fearlessly Made You Crew! For my “ride or die” Fearlessly Made You Crew, it’s been a while, and I am excited to be back sharing some “real talk” with each of you. I am really excited to share and re-share that my Fearlessly Made You book is FINALLY going to be launched February, 2021.
The inspiration for my book is actually all of these Fearlessly Made You posts, and as we lead up to the launch day, you will have the chance to continue to learn more about who I am from each of my posts, and get a sneak peek into some of the fun anecdotes from the book. You will also be the FIRST ONES to know insider information like upcoming speaking events, podcasts, book launch events, and when I will FINALLY launch my own Fearlessly Made You podcast. With all of that said… I am grateful to have each of you along on the Fearlessly Made You journey as part of my Crew, so without further ado… let’s have some “real talk” about “How You are Doing?”
Today especially is going to be an interesting day. I am purposefully writing this post at 9pmCT prior to finding out the final overall election results for my local community, state, and the nation. Whatever the results of the election, we still must not just live our lives, not just survive our lives, but we must thrive in our lives. So, I ask you the question… how are you doing?
I know it’s a loaded question right?! I made a choice today (or yesterday by the time you read this post). I had a rare day where I did not have at least 14 meetings/zoom calls on my calendar, and I took myself out to celebrate with wait for it… yes wine! Wine is a great elixir for all things especially an Election Day. As I was sipping my wine outside, socially distanced at one of my favorite wine bars, I was watching everyone milling around me. I chatted with several friends who happened to be walking by, with some of my favorite waitstaff members, bartenders and the General Manager at the wine bar, and though we were all friendly and dare I say even affable, there was a palpable tension in the air… it was an unspoken question of “How am I supposed to be feeling right now?”
The year of 2020 has been a helluva ride, let’s say it bluntly. And yes, I will always be the person who will say “there is a lot we can learn from unexpected chaos,” but suffice it to say… on this night especially I literally looked at my TV and just said “what in the actual hell is this year?” It’s not that I’m upset or angry, it’s that I’m tired! When I ask myself “How are you doing?” I frankly say “I am exhausted!” If you too are exhausted, then you are in good company.
I’m truly exhausted from having to keep thinking about the age old question “well what do I do next?” There is so much that has occurred and continues to occur, that even when we acknowledge our feelings that accompany the question “How are you doing?” we still struggle to process what to do about those feelings. How do we handle the exhaustion? For some, how do we handle the fear, the anxiety, the stress, the frustration? For my friends (and there are a lot of them) who have recently welcomed a new child into their life, there is the confusion of how to balance the feelings of elation with this new life and the fear of not knowing what type of world this new life is being brought into.
So with all of that being said… I encourage you to just STOP in this moment right now… just STOP. Take a collective deep breath… and release the feelings surrounding the question “How are you doing?” I don’t know about you, but I find myself so wrapped up in those feelings, that I can’t move forward. It’s like being in a thick fog and not knowing how to get out, but… we don’t always have the answers, nor do we have to actually have the answers, at least not right now. I know that doesn’t necessarily feel good, that feeling of uncertainty, but it can at least release some of the pressure of feeling like if I have all of these feelings, if I am exhausted, if I am anxious, or fearful I need to have the answers to get out of these feelings right now at this moment.
Did you know it is absolutely ok to just release for a minute? To stop thinking inside of yourself, and allow yourself to just acknowledge “how you are doing” and not necessarily fix it right at this moment. We are in a time where the ability to adapt, be dexterous, and operate under a constant state of resiliency is crucial, but we also forget we are also in a time where the ability to step back, breathe, and give ourselves the chance to be humans who do not have all the answers is even more important.
The vulnerability of accepting your imperfections is also the freedom to not have to be the fixer of every single thing that is not going right. Life is perfectly imperfect, you are perfectly imperfect, and when you are asked “how you are doing?” it’s not the opportunity for you to say “not good, but I’m going to fix it.” It’s the opportunity for you to breathe, release, and if needed honestly say “I just don’t know right now, and I’m ok with not knowing right now.”
My challenge to each of you is this… Give yourself the grace, to just be for one minute, five minutes, maybe even ten minutes out of your day. Release the pressure of fixing yourself and embrace the beauty of just being. Step away from the computer, tablet, or phone, take the earbuds out, walk or stand outside, turn on comforting music that allows you to sway with or dare I say even dance with the music… I know a frightening thought for some of us. Whatever that one action is that you need to do to release for just a minute or two in your day, make an intentional and purposeful effort to not fix, but just be.